“Arms, warfare, violence - I was winding up to produce a
Regular epic, with verse-form to match -
Hexameters, naturally. But Cupid (they say) with a snicker
Lopped off one foot from each alternate line.
‘Nasty young brat,’ I told him, ‘who made you Inspector of Meters?’
We poets come under the Muses, we’re not in your mob.
What if Venus took over the weapons of blonde Minerva,
While blonde Minerva began fanning passion’s flame?
Who’d stand for Our Lady of Wheatfields looking after rides and forests?
Who’d trust the Virgin Huntress to safeguard crops?
Imagine long-haired Apollo on parade with a pikestaff
While the war-god fumbled tunes from Apollo’s lyre!”
Ovid, The Amores, Book I
Ah, perhaps these lines from the Amores of Ovid would have been a better choice for April 1st, but c’est la vie and all that. Hope you enjoy the sliver of a poem from the Roman writer anyway.