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how are the gods/goddesses aphrodire, ares, and posiedon related.bother,sister,cousin,etc.

sorry i meant aphrodiTe**

Poseidon was the brother of Zeus, who was the father of Ares. Poseidon and Ares are cousins. About Aphrodite is more difficult, since she had no parents (she was born out of the foam of the sea. She was the lover of Ares, and married to Hephaistos.
Here is a link:
http://www.theoi.com/KronosFamily.htm

hmm, cousins should be: Poseidon is uncle of Ares and Ares nephew of Poseidon

That's Hesiod (and a much more interesting version IMHO). Homer on the other hand has Aphrodite as a daugter to Zeus and Dione. And thus making her a half-sister of Ares and a niece of Poseidon.

If you ask me, the whole family is just full of incest.

And if you ask me I don't think they were family at all to start with. I think that's later inventions. In early ancient times they wanted to connect the gods to each other to avoid clashes between believers of differents cult and groups of believers. And if you turned the gods into family it was more "OK" of the other guys were worshipping "your" gods sister or daughter or whatever than if they were worshipping a stranger.

Then there were several people doing this and their versions didn't always correspond with each others. So for one group Zeus & Hera were sister and brother and for another a married couple. And in the end they "became" both.

And similar things happened to the other gods, including "imported ones".

But the close relationships also come from cosomogony - the stories of the origin of the universe. The gods in most mythologies are the first beings to emerge, one from the other, in creation.
The genealogies of the gods of stone age cultures are even more simple. The Polynesian ones usually begin with the emergence of an earth-goddess and sky-god, who produce the next generation of gods, who in turn pair up and produce a few others.

When you begin a genealogy with Ouranos+Gaia -->
, the gods are inevitably all closely related.

You can also see the same tight divine families in Egyptian, Phoenician and Babylonian myth. Brother-sister pairings are the norm - and the family branches don't usually grow more than three generations from the source; the most distantly related gods of the youngest generation being first cousins.

There's also another concept, at least in Egypt---the Pharaohs commonly married their sisters, to keep the bloodlines pure; other monarchies, though not necessarily as close, have done similar things (in the 19th century, for example, many European rulers married their cousins---including Queen Victoria and Prince Albert). This could be in part the cause of the incest of the gods, or caused by it; the two may have influenced each other. Just a thought, hope this helps.

and instead they cot stuck with direases like hemophilia or birth defects like too many fingers and so on.

The royal families, I mean, not the gods. Well, perhaps poor Hephaistos then...